Worry. Anticipation. Deep Breaths. (Entry #6)

Hello!  It has been a while. I have been so busy with the holidays and I feel like I haven’t had a minute to myself or my thoughts.   We had a great Christmas.  The kids got everything and more and I got the refrigerator for my garage that I have been asking for.  I am really excited about that.  😉

January 8th is definitely starting to weigh heavily on my mind.  It has been easy to push my thoughts and fears aside being that we just went through all the holidays but now that they’re gone I am starting to worry.   January 8th is our next appointment at CHLA for Parkers Echocardiogram.  I am nervous because Parker has definitely become more aware of what’s going on and he really gets anxiety at the doctor’s offices.  So I am worried that we wont be able to get the Echo done this time without sedation medicine.  I am worried because I feel like our doctor is going to recommend heart surgery as the next step.  I am praying for a miracle but also have to be realistic.   The anticipation is so overwhelming.  I am so nervous about how his little body will react to the anesthesia.  He is a tough little guy but some of the stuff I read on the Williams Syndrome page fills my mind with worry & fear.  But the site also helps me be more prepared and aware of the risks that kids with WS have, which I am so grateful for.

I am scared and really don’t know how I will find the strength to get through open-heart surgery.  Yes I know technology is great these days and that these doctors do surgeries on babies smaller then Parker all the time but none of that makes me feel better.  None of that makes this any easier.  This is my little baby boy and I can’t help but worry.  I can’t help but be scared.  I just want this to be over.   He has become such an important part of our family.  He is a joy to be around and we all love him so much.  Preston loves him and has the sweetest relationship with him.  He makes us laugh and smile all day long.   I just want this to be over and for everything to be ok.  I look at his sweet little face and just want him to be healthy.   I am asking for lots of prayers.  I know I am praying daily… for a miracle.

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6 Comments

  1. Sarah,

    My heart goes out to you and your family. I think of Parker often and how much
    you love and care for him. My prayers are with you at all times and I pray for
    the best January 8th and the upcoming decisions you and the doctors have to make.

    I love you and your family! xxoo

    Stephanie

  2. I love you Sarah and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with Parker always and will continue to be. I am thinking of you guys and am here for you.

  3. Sarah and Tucker,

    I am keeping Parker and all of you in my daily prayer. I pray for God’s hands to guide Parker all the way through this. And I pray for God’s healing hands to be on Parker.

    Love you all very much!

    Lori

  4. We love you guys and are praying for your whole family. I hope you can feel how much positivity is being sent your way and it brings you some sense of peace xoxo

  5. You both are doing such great and amazing things with Parker! Above all you have been his strength! My thoughts and prayers are with him and all of you. Wonderful family pics BTW!

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